I just wanna sit and stare at you
I don't wanna talk about it
and I don't want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you
haha. that song brings back memories! sec1 or 2 was it... first ever heartbreak, haha. of course Ii've had so many more since then.. but this was the very first one, omgee. tickles my heart every time I look back now :P it was quite stupid actually. sigh.
...I hate rainy nights. I really do. rainy nights are the perfect-est weather to just do nothing and be alone and think about things. which I don't like doing, because most of the time when I think about things this way I end up emoing.
right now, all I wanna do is just to be left alone. I wanna forget about the work, forget about the boy, forget about the friends, and just for a while give myself some time to think about me. drown myself in the music, close my eyes and think of some faraway place where I can go to escape from it all.
so I did what I wanted to do. I put on my earpieces, turned the music up, and started thinking. I stared at the computer screen.
I know what I said about loving my life right now, and it's true, and I've figured out why. I just had a moment of enlightenment. at the same time something else happened, which I don't really wanna talk about, not because it's a bad thing, but I just don't need to. (:
if I just stopped thinking of all the ways I wish my life could be like, life could be so much more beautiful than it is right now. I was forever finding some inadequacy in myself and playing it up and making it seem more of a weakness than it actually is, when in reality it's not so bad. but if I just don't think about all that stuff, life is great, honestly.
I have the awesome-est bunch of friends and family in the world:
1c you guys are seriously beautiful beautiful people, every single one of you, I love yall (:
pollyna I love you girl. I don't need to say why do I? :D
non-1c rj people: yu xin, cheryl kwok, audrey tan, anthea, amin, pang, vera, justin, I could go on forever with this. you guys make me feel at home man, honestly (: thanks for all the advice yall gave when I needed it(: I really appreciate it.
non-rj people: yi ning, fidy, joel, kenneth, aisha, khaliq, ruzaini, THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU for simply being just awesome friends. the laughs never stop when I'm with you guys :P
The Brother: little bugger. I'll love you NO MATTER WHAT! don't know how you put up with my shit but you're one of the most selfless people I know so :D I LOVE YOU BRO (:
maria & kak nur: you guys, I will never forget you for the rest of life, I swear. blood runs thicker than water and I love you guys and I'll always be there for both of yall, thanks for being there for me, for seeing me at my worst and at my best, and I really really really love yall! :D
and then there's somebody else that I wanna credit too but it'd be really obvious crediting him so, heh. no thanks.
so yes. I love my life right now. (:
--
so that's that. as for today... thursdays are actually quite bearable, if you take out the fact that school now ends at 520 for me now, every day, cos of maths remedial. D:
anyhow, I like thursdays for the last two blocks that we have: pw and maths. everyone just goes crazy during these two blocks laaaa, hahaha. people start singing, spouting random comments that pass for humour, not making sense when they talk, basically everyone's just extremely random, it's super funny :P but at the same time it makes me feel at home! haha don't know why (:
I felt like quite a genius during math lecture, tutorial and remedial today. maybe it's just a good math day for me, I felt like I could do all the questions right HOHO! achievement much?! x)
oh and lemme tell you what I did okay. hahaha. I was feeling quite random. and loud. so I was leaning over the railing outside of class, a71, the end of the corridor, so can see the raja block lah. there was this random ri dude emoing about 3 floors down, haha, so I shouted to him.
"HELLO PERSON WHO'S EMOING!" and he really looked up eh hahaha. I didn't expect my voice to carry so far, I thot it was just echo. lololol it was damn funnnyyy. me and di wei just cracked up right there and then, if it wasn't for ms naidu coming into class we would've continued laughing like siao hahaha. (:
and yea, today I did something very stupid indeed. I paid for my ice milo, got my change, and walked away without the drink. -.- stupiddddddddd la omg.. hahaha. val and qiwen and even mr sowden were laughing at me ):
ALRIGHT GTG NOW. BYE
posted by aney @ 9:31 PM
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