today was a short day, because friday timetable ends at like 1205. nevertheless I ended up collapsing on my bed the moment I got home and I got changed. haha. the THINGS you do to make humongous eye bags disappear! ): haha nah I'm kidding, I really was tired. haven't been getting enough sleep lately. so I slept like from 4pm to 8pm. haha. nice. although my head hurt after I woke up.
anyhow I was just reading some people's blogs. and it kinda struck me how naive some people are. it's like they're so naive I don't know whether to be emphatic and take pity on them or raise an eyebrow and ask myself why they're not sufficiently jaded, the way a normal 17yearold-to-be should be. I mean if you're turning 17 this year you should have like at least 4 years worth of teenage experiences to go and figure out that people aren't kind to you all the time. like they could be kind to you, but behind your backs say something else about you.
I don't know, maybe it's just that I think that because my 4 years at that blasted school were plagued with so much bitchiness, other people's 4 years of teendom were full of nasty backstabbing 'friends' too. when it might not necessarily be the case. in which case they'd be either downright lucky or downright unlucky, for not discovering the state of the world sooner in their lives.
LIFE IS TOUGH. people can be bitches. deal with it. I've never really encountered anyone who went like "oh geez! I didn't expect people to be so mean!" or something along the lines of that. it's weird. you go like, "of course. people ARE mean. fact of life. lol." or sth.
fact remains that not everyone's mean though. haha. it's sad in the sense that when someone you totally dint expect to be mean to you, does something so damn hurtful to you, you tend to wonder who the hell you can trust in the world. and it seems like you can't trust anyone. but at least when you get better and you put it in your past you know that there's people you really can trust in the world. who'd be there for you no matter what. it feels nice. but at the same time you kinda wish you could trust everyone too. you can't, though.
aiyo. this is gonna sound random, but I wish pandora never opened that box. figuratively speaking. why couldn't she have just left it alone? I'd prefer life as a bed of roses. I can deal with the thorns myself. I wish there weren't some things in life you can't do anything about. :
alright, been there done that.
hm. I I think a lot of people I know are having their birthdays in march. which of course means that I'll have to be selective about who I buy presents for. haha. (x like, I'll buy like a tiny keychain for some people and like ginormous (I still don't know how to spell that word. I know supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, but I STILL don't know ginormous.) teddy bears for other people. omgee, SO sorry?
I'm only partially kidding though.
seems to me that I should be less... frank. when I give people my honest opinion. honestly! (HAHA.) but see, if I'm not frank to the point of "owch that hurt. couldn't you have put it nicer?" then it's not gonna be my HONEST opinion anymore right! hahaha.
just seems that lately I've been putting people off when I say things to them. haha. like um. aiyo. I can't give examples without exposing people's secrets haha. OH! right! I can! cos like, lately, a lot of guys have gone for haircuts, then most of them look pretty awful in the new ones. and I think I've told most of them they look gross in their new haircuts. get the same reaction every time. it's damn amusing, actually. it's like, "ehh!!" then there's a dumbfounded expression. then it changes to like "okay shit. I so did not expect that. but okay fine, geeeeeez." kinda expression hahaha.
...or maybe I just know too many vain guys. anyhow guys shouldn't be vain right. I thought guys are supposed to be like the opposite of girls. like all "oh look at me I'm so macho, I don't need to care about how I look man." that kind of thing. haha. (x
the example wasn't actually good, but uhm. yea I can't say exactly how I've been so frank without giving away stuff about people. which isn't very nice. because I promised, already! and breaking promises is a baddddddd baddddddd thing.
HO! but if you're reading this, and if I've been too frank with you about stuff, and if you were annoyed, haha I'm sorry. honestly. I just... have been this way since sec3? or something. I know I didn't use to be so frank. haha. whatever. but YEA! sorry!
gtg. it's midnight plus 10 minutes! tmr got econs test sia I'm damn scared. even though it's not counted. in rg it used to be like "aiya, formative. heck la! never study also can." but in rj, it's quite important I think, cos it's one of the few exam-format practices that we get, like before july cts. 0.o
OKAY. BYE.
posted by aney @ 11:15 PM
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