yesterday on my way back home it started raining really heavily, like super heavily, with lightning and thunder that were like one second apart. luckily I was at bukit panjang plaza while it started raining so I didn't get drenched or electrocuted and what not. mum told me to stick it out at the mall until the rain stopped cos she said it was dangerous for me even with an umbrella.
so I did. and I spent my time reading reader's digest in the library.. THEN I got bored! so I got up and started walking aimlessly around, and since it's bukit panjang plaza here and not I dunno, far east plaza, there's really not much to do if it's raining. and I couldn't possibly go to the arcade since I was in school u. and I'd look weird flipping through the file of xbox games in the gameshop.
so I went down to the basement and got myself a chicken and mushroom curryo' from oldchangkee! it's really good btw you should try it.
then I finished it and then I went into NTUC for lack of anything better to do. I ended up in front of the perfumes rack staring at all the different perfumes and I started spraying everything on my hands. haha even the guys' ones, cos I always thought guys' perfumes are really cool. erh the good ones, that make you smell like something out of a james bond movie hahaha
I ended up with the entire range of impulse perfumes that was on sale all over my hands and my arms were scented up with guys' perfumes, can't remember what their names were. I smelled reaaaaaaally funny hahahahaha. it was cool you know, cos I met my friend on the way home after the rain had stopped and then he walked home with me and he went "honestly, you smell awful in this awesome way" what the hell is that ahhahaha
yeah well. cheap thrill. hahaha. guess I'll never do that again. O.o
I got back home and at night I had a really weird dream! okay, more like a fantasy than a dream, cos it involved my crush. yeah well I've got a billion crushes and when I say crush it just means I think he's cute and funny, that's all.
this guy, he's really really tall. and he's not even asian bwahaha. if you know me well enough you should probably be able to figure out who he is la, lol. if not, sucks to you :P
I dreamt that I was in this vast expanse of endless white. seriously like no walls no floor no ceiling no nothing, just white! and then there was me and a group of girls and a group of guys sitting apart from each other and then I was playing the goddamn piano and everyone was half paying attention and half talking amongst themselves.
and then suddenly the dude comes up to the piano and slides down onto the piano seat right next to me and because the piano seat is so freaking small and he's so damn big (as in really proportionally big and not horizontally big O.o) we were squeezing together on the piano chair and miraculously I could still continue playing without a hitch.
inside, I was practically hyperventilating though in my dream. hahaha. and then he suddenly had this uber-cute accent and he started talking to me "my name is ___ and I think you're really good at playing the piano" and then suddenly the piano dissolved and everything dissolved and it was just us two walking down some random street like we were already some couple lah hhahhahaa
LOL I told you it was a fantasy. HAHA. nothing in the dream is to be taken seriously though, if you haven't figured that out. I do think he's cute and funny but I doubt I'll ever think much more of him haha damn that feels mean saying that. but yeah you know how it goes..
you know I just figured out yesterday that my taste in guys is really eclectic. hahaha. it's quite inconsistent hahaha. but mostly I like guys that other people won't even think twice about liking. it's weird but it's cool!
like with the first guy that I honestly had feelings for, when I told polly she was like "huhhhh why?!" and then yesterday I pointed out someone who I thought is cute to polly and she's like "ewww not at all?! okay lah he's pleasant-looking but he's definitely not cute!"
the first guy that I crushed on was hot, but it was more the way he carried himself than anything else haha that's still a compliment isn't it? then the second errrrrhhh was. let's see. he wasn't "hot" but he was, okay is, I think, just nice to look at haha O.o fine he was handsome alright! I just have trouble saying that, it's much easier to say that a guy's hot and not handsome. it's different ain't it.
anyway. the third guy was completely different from second, as far as personality goes, and the fourth guy is quite similar to me, again in terms of personality, and he was cute in this kinda quiet gawky way I dunno, he was just CUTE alright?!
freaking superficial hahaha. yeah but I guess the common thread is that after the first guy everyone that I had feelings for, I didn't simply have feelings for cos they were cute. it helped, I mean that was why I noticed them at first, with the exception of the second dude. but after a while it just ceased to matter. I mean a guy can be really cute and really hot but if he's not your type then he's not your type, right? RIGHT! so we move on.
lol I am so not helping myself here. apparently people already think I'm like this girl who goes through guys like I go through underwear. haha which sucks at first, cos which girl wants to be known as that kind of girl? but honestly after I while I decided I couldn't care less.
I mean people can think what they want if it's that image which makes guys distance themselves from me then fine, but this is something that I've been doing since forever, and I'm not just talking about since I developed the unstoppable raging hormones syndrome that just seems to afflict some more than others O.o lol
I know who I really am and to me that's good enough. if a dude wants to see me that way let him do it, there'll be someone somewhere who can just get over himself and have absolute trust in me that I'll be faithful. and trust me when I find it worth doing, the only person that will ever get through to my heart is that one dude and noone else can ever steal my heart away.
I've been having feelings for the same dude for close to 8 months now, I don't think he really cares though. and I've been having the resolve to get over him for let's see, two months already? not that it's not working, it's just not working fast enough.
yeah. ohwell. life goes on (:
I read an interview that angelina jolie did for reader's digest and I was struck by this last question.
RD: You said you wanted a partner who would urge you to be better. Does Brad do that?
Jolie: He encourages the right things. If I've had a full day and just really been a hands-on mom, he'll make a point to let me know that's something he's proud of. If I'm writing an Op-Ed, he's the first person to want to read the drafts. I could be dressed up in the sexiest outfit for a photo shoot, and by his behavior, he'll let me know that's nice, but it's nothing as sexy as when I'm home surrounded by the kids or reading books, educating myself. He slows me down to kind of get it right, to relax into the strength of my family and the love.
HOW FRICKIN SWEET IS THAT! i don't have the slightest idea what the hell an "Op-Ed" is, but the sexy part is really cooollllll.. I never thought of brad as someone that wasn't superficial. he just looks like he's all about the babes and the boobs and the butt and whatever doesn't he? wow I WANT A GUY LIKE THAT! no as in not someone who looks like brad pitt, and definitely not someone who only sees butts and boobs and I dunno spends five hours reading FHM or something, just somebody who brings out the best in me and who can see me as sexy even when my hair's frizzier and more explosive than albert einstein's, and I stink a thousand different ways, my tshirt says "barney the dinosaur is my friend" and my pants are..well, gross. that would be really cool. (: (: (:yeah okay wow how long is this post huh hahaha geez alright I better go bye
posted by aney @ 8:57 AM
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