this is what I used to do when I was little and I got pissed at something/someone.
1. take a random exercise book, which is completely empty, start tearing out all the pages one by one, rip each page to shreds (literally) and throw them all around my room
.... only to painfully have to pick it all up on my own later
2. be extremely rude. and I mean VERY rude, for that age.
3. ask, WHY CANNOT?!
this is what I do NOW, when I get pissed at something/someone.
1. be very rude to people that I love
2. get a really strong urge to kick/punch something
I did, at the start of the year. I kicked the wall in the toilet at home (of all things) and I pulled my a muscle, in the process, very smart.
3. be VERY VERY vulgar (my f-word count isn't as bad as some people I know, but still very bad)
4. clench my fists until my palm hurts and the muscles in my fingers feel so strained that they're gonna stop working some day
and the list goes on. well the real reason why I'm even doing this is cos most of the time, I don't get pissed off enough to do all those things above. but when I do get pissed off enough to do them, I just do it and I don't care about the repercussions, and it's extremely horrible and so unbecoming of a girl.
normally I wouldn't give two shits about whether the way I act is very ladylike or girly or 'proper' (i hate that word. don't ever tell me to be proper! can tell me to do it properly, but do NOT NOT NOT tell me that's not what proper girls do, I will hate you for the rest of my life) but in this case it hurts the people that I love and no matter how much it helps to 'vent my anger' it's not nice to take it out on them, even if I just want to let it all out.
I really really love my friends and family and I hope I never hurt them irreparably, in any way at all. even if my taking out my anger on them hurts them just a little, I better damn well care! if I say I love them, I should LOVE them, not HURT them.
SO! I SHOULD REALLY LEARN TO TONE DOWN THE ANGER, MAN.
and YOU: YES YOU, THE READER. THE ONE WHO'S STARING AT THESE WORDS. YOU YOU YOU EUI. if you're here, it means you care about me right! (:D) that prolly means i care about you. or you know what, you don't care also, nemind. I still care. if I've ever hurt you by being saying/doing something when I was pissed, I really am very sorry. and I will do my best to change.
I LOVE YOU PEOPLE! >.>
posted by aney @ 9:40 PM
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