dear __,
I don't know why I'm writing this here of all places, but I think it's because I'm hoping you'll see this and hopefully figure out that it's for you, so I won't have to tell it to you in real life, because I don't have the guts to. and I hate it when you get that look on your face, the one like you just proposed to the love of your life and she just rejected you. I don't wanna know that I'm capable of causing that kind of look on your face. I don't deserve that from you.
from you. you are the absolute sweetest guy I've ever come across. and I'm not just saying that to be nice. I'm giving you the credit you deserve, cos I don't think people appreciate you as much as they should be. you're a terrific friend and you really do know how to save my life, thank you, so much. I still remember that night when you told me that everything was gonna be alright. you did make everything alright, and for what it's worth, you made a difference and that really counts.
you know what, every time I think of you, I think of this flawless being. I know you're not flawless, but I really can't help it. to me, you will always have a golden heart, and you will always be the most pure-hearted boy I know.
and that is why I don't deserve you. I don't have it in me to be as responsible and dutiful as you are. somehow or other, I end up pissing someone off, be it my parents, my friends, or my teachers, or whoever else it is. and usually it's my fault. it's because of something I did. you would never be like that in a million years, I know you. it's impossible for anyone to be pissed off at you.
don't say you don't care, I know you do. and if we were together, I think we'd last forever, but I know I'm not the sort of girl your parents would like. if I'm thinking too far ahead, I'm sorry. with you it's hard not to think so far ahead. and think about it. I'd drag you down. you'd always be trying to pull me up but I don't see what I can give to you in return. I honestly don't see what I have to offer to you.
but I really wish you could change that part of you that shuts up whenever girls are around. have you ever thought, that maybe it doesn't matter that you don't look like a million bucks, or that you're not the perpetual centre of attention? most of us aren't, either, and we don't get thrown into one corner and completely ignored by the guys. I don't know, what is it about girls that just makes you clam up like that? it doesn't matter how you look or what you are or aren't, it's what's inside that counts. I couldn't give two shits if you looked like wade robson but you just couldn't get enough of yourself. it doesn't matttterrrrrr. I wish you'd see that. at least you'd have a fighting chance??
to me it really doesn't matter if you're the most perfect guy on earth but I can't hold a conversation with you for nuts. I'm sorry.. I don' know what to say. but really, I'm honestly sorry. ):
see you around friend.
posted by aney @ 9:26 PM
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