Wednesday, May 21, 2008

ahhh I really don't have the mood to do anything tonight. first of all gp test just passed and I know I have to do lit, and boy is miss lye gonna be pissed if I don't do it, but there's something about being done with a test and knowing that there aren't any more tests for a whole month, that makes you wanna neglect your work just this week because the motherfucking holidays are coming. secondly, today was a shit shit shit shit day. thirdly, i have a freaking bad headache

din: I really really never meant to hurt you, and I'm more pissed off that you would choose to jump to conclusions rather than using your head and refusing to believe what I told you. I swear it isn't a lie, and it's got nothing to do with you. I really think you're a super nice guy and you're damn sweet (sweety!) even if I've never met you in real life before but honestly. you seem like a real nice guy. better than your friend at least... erm but I don't think I could ever like you that way and I don't mind being friends but that's it.

yea... that's basically why i'm feeling like a piece of shit. the dude's really sweet, I honestly think he is. but man, I can't like him that way. I only have room for one man in my heart. (chey man sey, mcm phm) nobody could displace him. i really really treasure him. he's that one ray of light in my life. he's so pure I feel like I can't touch him, but I want to.

okay that came out wrong. touch? as in metaphorically speaking -_-"

wah I talk like i'm already attached to him. I don't even know if he likes me in return, or if he wants us to be anything more than just friends.

well. in other news.. I don't want anything to do with this business of pissing people off without meaning to anymore. let's get this straight, once and for all. the last thing I want to do when I make friends with anybody, anyone at all, is intentionally hurt them or piss them off. in fact that's what I'm most of scared of. I hate hurting people's feelings, it makes me feel lousy, even if it's not my fault, and it's the other party that's just oversensitive, it really does. don't tell me I'm purposely doing stuff to irritate you, don't accuse me of being high-and-mighty just because I'm from raffles or just because i'm smart (HAHA joke much.) because I'm the exact opposite of that,, and it gets on my nerves that people would think I'm like that, because it's not true, and if you took the time to get to me know me better before jumping to conclusions, you'd know that.

I treasure all my friends and I really take their feelings very seriously. I might say stuff that's abit too frank sometimes, but I really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by the things I say and do. ever since when I was in kindergarten, I've always hated hurting people's feelings. I might have changed a lot since kindergarten, but that's one part of me that hasn't changed and never will.

sigh.

you know what really helps right now? listening to say (all I need) by onerepublic. it really helps to soothe my soul. unfortunately it doesn't help to soothe this freaking headache that I have right now. it really hurts now, shit I feel like barfing :x bye

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