this whole weekend, has been. different. well it has to do with the fact that I let someone go. picture it this way. the dude had a hold of my heart. won't say he was in complete control of it, but he was more or less in control of it. and then he screwed up big time, so now he doesn't have control over it. he does, to a certain extent, but not as much. i just feel liberated. yeah. that's what i meant.
anyway. I met a couple of new people over the weekend. i won't say make friends, because well, I'm never gonna see any of them again in my life, and if I do, I doubt I'll remember their faces.
but well, these people were like, different from most of the people that I come into contact with, in school. they're just way more relaxed, and I find that I feel completely at ease with them than I do with most people at school. as in, it's a different kind of relaxed, like I don't have to worry about what comes next, what's around the corner,
okay to put it frankly, because I really can't think of how not to put it frankly, i like these people better than i like most people in school. no offence to all rafflesians. I mean you guys are great, especially everyone I'm close with, honestly, you guys are tremendously good at the things you do, and you definitely are really good friends. (: but frankly I just feel more at ease with these people than I do with people in school.
maybe it has something to do with school also, because it's hard to feel relaxed in school, especially in rj, and I have to admit this, I've never felt so encouraged to be a mugger and spend all my time mugging my brains out in the library. but anyway, they're a different type of people.
they're a different kind of people, like I can talk to them, and not have to put anything on. oh god, as in, I don't have to pretend to be anything. I can just be myself around them. which I don't really get, either, because I don't really know who the real 'myself' is. I just know I feel completely relaxed with them.
it's a great feeling. and one strange thing--they were all boys. as in, the people that I met. we just somehow ended up talking, you know, no strings attached, just for fun. and it was quite nice talking to them like that. they don't worry about things like oh gosh, what are my friends gonna say if they see me talking to a random girl. basically they don't even worry about people jumping to conclusions when they get close to a girl, who's just a friend. really nothing more than that. just a friend.
I know there're some people like that in rj, but well, I just find more of them outside of school. and I can completely fit in with them. which is great! cos i hate it when I talk to a guy, and the guy's so completely self-conscious. keeps glancing around everywhere, but at me. I mean I'm talking to you, hello! you're not talking to your surroundings, are you! and after a while I figure it out it's because they'd rather be anywhere than be seen sitting close to a girl, alone, for no apparent reason, after school. it's damned irritating. i'm sorry. but it is!
for the love of god, I'm just trying to be friends. sheeeesh.. anyway if I wanted to flirt around with like a million different random guys I wouldn't look for them in rj. :P oops?
HAHA just kidding. well partially. okay not at all actually. once again oops?
cyaz
posted by aney @ 2:45 AM
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