I need to scream. I'm freaking sorry? BUT I NEED TO FREAKING SCREAM
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
or maybe take a deep breath!
.... nope didn't work out.
WAH #$#(*!&%&$^#($*
1. homework's piling up
lit assignment, history term paper, math tutorial(s), econs assignment, PI, O. M. F. G. some people can still say they're not doing any work ah. what the hell. D:
2. MUGGING STILL NOT IN FULL FORCE?
only started real mugging today. but it's still not in full force as in it doesn't occupy like 70% of my time, and the fucking cts are coming up and I'm still damn blur about stuff
LIKE ECONS. I have no idea what the shit is going on okayyyyyyy, FUCK?! I mean I understand but then i always apply it wrongly WHICH IS WHAT REALLY MATTERS. and it's bloody frustrating because I spend so much time on the fucking tutorial then come to school, teacher go through, I still get everything wrong. okay not everything, but most of it is wrong. WHICH FUCKING SUCKS. I'M SO FUCKING DEAD, I NEED A BLOODY CONSULTATION WITH THE TEACHER, SHIT. cry
and it looks like I won't START full-fledged mugging until two weeks later? cos there's term papers and assignment and whatever shit to wade through. THAT'S LIKE, MAY, FUCKING MAY. MAY + TWO WEEKS JUNE. my mugging time. LAN FREAKING CHEOW?!?!??!?!?! I can't FULL-FLEDGED MUG ON MY BLOODY LITTRIP??!
3. money no enoughhhhhhhhh
alahai. pay for lit tix, guitar tix, rock tix, rafflespetee, topup ezlink card, pay people back. IM GONNA FREAKING STARVE TMR. spare change anyone? ))))))))))))))))))))))))):
4. 1001 billion friends to worry about
so many people, suddenly so emo, all because everyone's fallen for someone. it's quite depressing!! not like I don't emo about someone, but really when everyone emos about everyone else it's the pits. ): people who usually smile and laugh and bring JOY to the world! are damn emo cos the girl/boy they like doesn't know it/doesn't care/doesn't like them back.
few people went through drastic weight loss... cos they're damn stressed... damn bad lah.... it's really a very significant weight loss. and it's all because of As! I'm damn worrieddddddd. ):
there's this person I really really hold dear to my heart, who seems to have lost a certain spark in his eyes. he doesn't show it very often but I know there's something wrong, there's just something different, something's missing. he gets restless more often than usual, and faster than usual. when he laughs his eyes don't smile or shine, and he's developed a habit for suddenly staring into space blankly at random points in time, and when he does it, there's something hollow about his expression. like something's eating at him, like he's losing a part of himself. I know it sounds damn crazy and melo-dramatic and whatever, but honestly, it's true. it's really really serious. but the thing is that he doesn't wanna talk to anyone about it, which I know is gonna make things worse. though I think I have an idea of what happened. but it's still not the same as sitting down next to him and really listening to everything he has to say. which is of course the ideal situation, but he won't let anyone come close enough to do that. and so it's really worrying, because I really don't want him to lose himself or anything. I mean it's serious stuff. you know? :s
5. MY GOD DAMN SELF TO WORRY ABOUT
haha. like sleep. I need to freaking sleep earlier. you know my alarm clock rings at 445 everyday. but I just shut it off once and it keeps on going off for about an hour before I force my ass off my bed and go wash up. T_T lit lectures have been the most convenient for sleeping though :P
my gradesssssssssss. it's not like I'm failing everything, but I'm not getting Bs for everything either. which is probably what I should aim for right now since I still haven't got the hang of stuff that well... things are going from B to A to C. HELLO, STAY AT A ):
I'm really trying to push all my emotions into one corner and close the door on them. like give them a time-out. cos that's what they need. too many emotions wrestling for attention, and end result is that I feel like a piece of shit. not good for me. hence cordon off emo sentiments, and do my best to get on with life.
I'm so sleepy I'm going cross-eyed
and I still haven't done econs, SHIT.
bye
posted by aney @ 10:29 PM
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