M - U - G !
I should be doing something more productive now. being a mugger. reading my notes or something like that. ohdear, seahist notes just came in, it's one whole thick stack D: okayokay I'll go read after this. it's alrd 9pm, damn it. ><
past few days have been like shit, as you can probably tell. since I've got nothing left to lose, I shall announce my pathetic ct results here. shit.
seahist: B
ihist: D
econs: U
lit: ??
maths: S
gp: D
the only thing I can be proud of is seahist, and I didn't even do well for it by my standards, no matter what ms ng says. I don't care if it's the first common test of my rj life, I need that A! the others, all expected, except for maths. ): I honestly didn't expect to fail.
PHAIL!
kay I'll come back with a vengeance for promos. I'll GET TAT ELUSIVE A! I'll make my parents PROUD (:
okay yeah that's that.
just read a friend's blog, she's apparently void of emotions right now, I don't really blame her, she's been through a lot so far this year. but what she maode me realize is that I don't even think about why I'm actually feeling this way when shit happens. used to be that I could take stock of my feelings and figure out why I'm feeling like this, but nw, I just go 'life sucks' or something along the lines of that, and I just keep on sulking and never go back to find out where I went wrong.
which kinda makes me feel like I'm losing track of my life, if you know what I mean. I mean I can't even keep track of my own emotions anymore, the same goes for my thoughts. they go hand-in-hand, don't they? thoughts and feelings. maybe life is just getting so routine for me that I kinda get used to regularly feeling like a piece of shit.
ehhhh I can't really describe it. I just need to feel more alive man. that's the easiest (and probably most cliched?) way to put it. part of it's because lately, I've been creating a lot of excuses for myself. mostly, I've been lying to myself that if I leave everything to happen naturally, it'll all work out. and that entails more lying to myself about various...errr.. situations.
IT'S JUST NOT GONNA WORK OUT NATURALLY. so I'd better take charge of my own life and drive my own chariot, figuratively speaking, haha.
I need to see things as they are, and I cannot lie to myself any longer. I will just accept that sooner or later, something's bound to go wrong. and either work against it (if I can) or not let it get to me (if I can't).
and life, here on out, is gonna get BETTER. because trust me, life could only get better from now on. (x
alright, that's that. another one off the list of things to blog!
next. I seem to be a very approachable person. because every time I walk down orchard rd or reach some random mrt station or a bus stop people always stop me to say, "can I have 5 minutes of your time? I'm not trying to sell anything, really I'm not" and then ASK ME TO COMPLETE A BLOODY SURVEY OR SMELL SOME LAME PERFUME OR COLOGNE OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT.
bloody irritating! I would rather stop to donate money or give my attention to some charitable cause or something like that. more worth my time! huh.
AND TODAY! I got ciko-ed (dunno how to spell, also dont care) by some random old angmoh guy. at first I thought he was just being friendly la. cos he seemed friendly. and then I wanted to move my legs, so I moved them and i hit this lumpy thing. what the heck is that?? I looked down and the dude's leg was under mine T_T like, literally. like he was stretching his leg out under mine. OKAYYYYYY. very weird, but okay. funny old man.
so I continued stoning. and then his hand started moving closer to my freaking leg. WHAT THE?! people gave me funny stares eh. like I was friends with this dude beside me who looked unlikely to be my friend. I dunno lah, I just know I was silently pleading to God to make 156 come faster!
AND IT DID. so I jumped up and rushed for the doors. then when I was waiting for the stupid uncle (okay not stupid lah, sorry :P) to open the doors (DAMN SLOW EH!) I felt a hand on my back. ?!?!?! the dude was like 'sit with me on the bus yeah'
WAHHHHHH WATTURF. punch your freaking BALLS can! >< I got on the bus and just took a seat beside some random depressed-looking woman dressed in black from head to toe. rescued! :O the dude said 'come with me to the back!' and I just stayed put haha. once he got to the back he didnt move either! YAY :D
I fell asleep on the bus though and I missed my stop by one stop haha. it wasn't so bad la, although I had to walk in the rain. it was only a heavy drizzle, so yeah. anyway it was quite cooling (:
one last thing: maths lecture today was completely horrible. cannot understand a single word of what the lecturer was saying! well I could la, bits and pieces of it. thankgod jonlim helped to explain stuff to me after the lecture, so now I get the gist of it. ohdear. I'll need loads of practice.
OKAY JIAYOU ME! off to mug now. let's see how long I last before I fall asleep (x
posted by aney @ 8:59 PM
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