\since we're such awkward bedfellows

I've got another confession to make, I'm no fool

I'm currently camped out in front of the tv with mum and my grandma and my bro and my maid. laptop's on my lap. finally where it should be. on TOP of my LAP!

anyhow I'm not in the best of moods tonight. that's because I'm bummed out.

I swear I've never felt more jealous of anyone in my entire life before. honestly speaking. I have felt jealous of people before, I guess that's only normal. but really though. I never really wished I could be another person, not in the sense that I didn't want to be in another person's shoes.

this time, it's like, I can't help thinking, "why can't it be me?" it's like a longing to be in that person's shoes, and I feel horrible. I wish I could do what she can do.. I'm not gonna go much farther than that. kind of feel inferior to her? geez, I haven't felt inferior to anyone since like primary 3. -.- is downright weird..

I could match up, according to khaliq. just in a different way. really now? I don't see what's so special about me. just like any normal girl you wouldn't pay much attention to after the first glance.

I know what kind of person I don't want to be, and what kind of person I want to be, and I've been trying to live according to that. but just this once, I might be irrational, but I don't care. just this once, I wanna be someone else.

posted by aney @ 9:18 PM