I mean it's okay if she talks about like, the number of bookings I had, or my pathetic grades. at the very least, that stuff's got streetcred value.. and even that but not other stuff!
given, the people she talked to didn't judge me, but still. she never likes people to know that much about herself and there she was, right across the table from me, telling people we're barely getting to know about how much of a badass kid I used to be. damn.
well in other news... I was just cleaning out my cupboard the other day. loads of useless papers and files and letters and shit like that. but I found so many reminders of the past. fun shit! I forgot some stuff about myself, from the past. haha..
like I used to play comp games a lot in primary school. I found this list I made of the games I loved the most, it was so cool.. gta3 topped the list, haha. then it was sims, then unreal tournament, then cs. and there was even an old gta3 walkthrough under the list! flashbacks of frantically flipping through the pages going SHITSHITSHIT! when I didn't know how to finish the mission and I already had a fourstar wanted level. hahaha.
...kinda wonder why I don't play comp games now. I should. I miss playing unreal tournament lor.
then there was a bunch of letters I wrote, which I wanted to give to significant dudes in my life at whichever point in time. it was so so lame.. there was even one from this year. oldest one I found was sec2. haha. erm. maybe I shouldn't call it 'bunch' of letters. there were only four. haha. I didn't write the person I was writing it to, and I had a mighty good time figuring out which letter was meant for who. and I was like, "wtf.... why did I ever like them????"
next up. my sec4 chemistry performance task. hahaha. almost everyone in class failed that, I remember. I don't even understand whatever gibberish i submitted lor. i know it probably made a little sense at the time, just a little bit, because at least I didn't get a zero, or for that matter a one-digit number. it went something like "a suitable method of salt preparation is precipitation" and I'm like wuhhhhhhhhhhht??? hahaha and the ionic equation is completely alien to me. (x
(just to save my skin a little bit, I PASSED CHEM EVENTUALLY. best miracle I ever performed. haha.)
and thennnnn. I found an MOU! a Memorandum of Understanding. and this tiny paper which I never threw away, that had my name and a couple of other girls' names on it, asking us to go see some teacher who was supposed to set us straight. back in rg. it was weird... I kinda almost completely forgot about all the shit I got into back then. haha. like 10 million bookings, maybe, for coming to school late, a few random ones for things like no nametag and wearing jewellery. (either because I was wearing a necklace to school, or because I put a hairband around my neck after an angklung performance. haha.) apparently I was supposed to have 4 DCs! detention classes.. phew. haha. I only remember going for one.
and there was something about structured study as well! HAHA structured study. kind of a joke. I remember writing nonsense on a foolscap paper just so it would look like I was writing some kind of essay homework.. hahaha. damn idiotic man.
I know it was a hellhole when I was there, but I can't rmb the hellishness of it all now. not really, anw. it seems like sooooo so much has passed from the end of 2007 to the end of 2008... I read my blog entries from the start of this year the other day and I feel disgusted. like, damn fake. -.-
OH! oh. and I found a diary entry (I had like, tons of different diaries, cos I could never stick to one!) where I was raving about this older dude I used to crush at the start of the year. no prizes for guessing who he is, people.. -.- he punched my arm, like that guy thing guys like to do, and my friend said my face was seriously damn red. how gay.. even if I am a girl, and girls tend to blush more than guys. but ew. gayness.
sigh...
well. dirty laundry or not. my past is still my past and there's nothing I can do to get away from it. best to live in the now. forget all the shit that used to happen, forget how pathetic I used to feel when it happened, and just set my sights on the horizon and work towards it. nothing for it now!
posted by aney @ 4:23 PM
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