also because I feel that I don't really show this part of me in real life. to me, at least, I don't see it. but then again people always tell me things about myself that I never thought they'd notice, so maybe I do show this part of myself to you guys, but whatever. it's just fun to go on a journey of self-discovery. woohoo.
alright let's get started. oh but do bear this mind, I'm not doing an academic piece or anything, so I'll just state the facts here and I'll explain but I won't substantiate with examples or evidence hahaha
(oh dear maybe I've been mugging too much why am I talking like this)
well firstly, I'm rather stubborn when it comes to having my own opinions about things. though I'm not particularly as opinionated as some of my friends are (which is probably why I find it so hard to judge people most of the time), when I do have an opinion about something, it gets really really really really REALLY hard to change my mind about it.
it's good and bad, I suppose. good because welll.... why is it good? hm. because it means that I'm not easily swayed by others' opinions. which is cool, I like that about myself. but it's bad because I tend to dispense with sense sometimes just because I'm so hard-headed. and I mean that like, stubborn, not, you know.. empty-headed. haha. -.-
secondly, and I think this links to the being stubborn too, I'm very much independent-minded. I know most teenagers are (true to the stereotype?) independent-minded as well, but I find that I'm more independent-minded than average. haha. which again can be good or bad. and I like both sides of the coin, even the part where being independent-minded is bad for me. lol. see I told you it links to being stubborn.
anyhow, I get extremely annoyed when people try and define for me the 'proper' person that I should be, in their eyes. unless I ask them for their opinion la. in which case I really appreciate honest opinions really I do. (: but normally I hate being told who I should be. it pisses me off. I do concede that there's some parts of my character that are undesirable, but I will not change unless my life depends on it!
which is probably why I have such a serious problem with decorrum haha. I mean it's not like I constantly rebel against social norms but well, I just hate the idea of having to conform to a certain ideal of what a girl, or for that matter, anything applicable in this context--rafflesian, malay, whatever--should be. to me, just because that perception of a certain identity is out there, does not mean I have to adhere to it. that would just be plain stupid.
I don't really know how to express this, I think I'd just end up going around in circles. basically, I hate being told what to do, and I hate being told who I should be just because I'm expected to be that way, mmmmmm because quite frankly, I don't care much for perceptions of me that are based on expectations. shrug. do I make sense? hahaha.
it might sound unreasonable of me, I realize, but well. it's who I am.
... I will never marry a boyfriend who tells me how I should dress. -.- I'll kick his ass if he tells me to be more 'girly', ugh.
thirdly, I'm extremely sensitive. not just, you know, all tender-hearted (geez I make myself sound like a chicken) and delicate soul, kinda thing. but also like. well I can pick up vibes from people that others normally can't pick up? I don't know, like when someone's doing an overall good job of pretending to be happy when there's actually something that he's perpetually inherently perturbed about... I tend to have a knack for seeing these kinda things. haha.
but mostly it's bad for me because my emotions tend to run high (and deep) extremely fast. this is applicable to being angry, being in love, whatever. don't really know how to control my emotions, they always end up getting the best of me. which is bad, really bad.
ohwell there's more stuff that I wanna say but i'm too sleepy. I shall go sleep. bye! HAHAHA
posted by aney @ 8:47 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home