\since we're such awkward bedfellows

I feel incredibly blessed right now. like seriously. (: despite all the shit that happened yesterday, and all the shit I’m probably gonna get from my dad for making yesterday’s shit happen, and the fact that I&R is due tmr, and so is P&C tutorial, and that I haven’t actually made up my mind about what to do about this stupid conflict..

I’m just feeling very very thankful that I know such wonderful awesome caring lovely friends. (: blessed because I feel special being loved by so many caring friends and thankful that God’s given me the chance to be part of this lovely circle of awesome people that I love so much. (:

And to you especially, THANK YOU. For all the shit that I made you go through, for all the stuff I said to you that was baseless and just simply so extremely vindictive and accusing, and for making you worry yourself sick that you were intentionally hurting somebody when you really weren’t doing anything of the sort, I just feel incredulously gratified that you’re still willing to be friends with me. I wanna really really really thank you for that, cos in my book, you’re one of the most gracious, forgiving, AWESOME people around. (:

Oh yeah, and also I thank God that you’re far from obnoxious, despite being far from oblivious as well.. haha. I mean I’m extremely lucky that you’ve got good sense and good judgement and a whole lot of humility as well as understanding. I’m sorry I made you feel so bad, I’m sorry I pissed you off, and I’m sorry I made you feel like an ass. You’re not! Wish I could say that to you in real life.

(ohyeah and just to avoid any confusion, the person I’m referring to here is a guy. In school, but not in class. I’m just too chicken to mention his name here, cos we’re not even that close. AIYA. LONG STORY. It’s very complicated, you don’t need to know, don’t understand also nemind)

And for everyone else who told me not to worry, who brightened up my day, my life, my soul even, in some way or another, I LOVE YOU. Thank you guys (:

... a few mental notes to self

1. 1. Get driven! Time to be a good girl and stop messing around, and BUCKLE. DOWN. Alevels coming and I must think As instead of Es. WORK MY BUTT OFF, ME!

2. Figure out who you really are

3. Remember, I’m supposed to be forgetting about him, not being all mushy and weakhearted and prone to the little little things that he does. If you can look at ____ and think of him only as a friend, surely you can do that for him as well!

4. BE MATURE. CMON.

5. I’m not hurting him. No way! He’s not saying anything about it so it’s best not to worry for now, forget it!

Yeah that’s it lor.

OKAY. I&R HERE I COME.

posted by aney @ 10:15 PM