got a U for maths! is that any surprise, hmmm. hahaha
whatevs I don't wanna think about it any more. shouldn't look back! full steam ahead... no use moping around! like a friend of mine said, if everyone else is gonna mope around and be emo about their results, be the different one who actually does something about it.
YUP. YEH JY PEOPLE. (:
but you know what the ironic thing about today was? it wasn't until I got home that I started feeling slightly depressed about my marks. cos I was subjected to rigorous questioning by my parents. mum told me in this condescending manner to practice more maths and blabla the usual stuff
wow. parents sure know how to deflate your balloon. okay not that I was actually floating around after getting my results back, but still. I was so focused on the fact that I improved I kinda forgot to be sad that my marks still suck by my parents standards..
I take pleasure in the fact that my friends said my results weren't bad. it's a major comfort, somehow, to know that at least by my world's standards my marks aren't rubbish. I know my parents think my marks are rubbish despite their efforts to look happy that I'm happy I improved.
but it didn't work, they just looked constipated. and just fake la. you can tell when your own parents are just doing something to make you happy right. haha.
well I still love them anyway. (:
results aside... something else happened today, towards the end of the day, that kinda pissed me off. it didn't seem so bad when it happened, I was just annoyed, but then I remembered something similar that happened to me at the start of the year and a few other times over the course of the year.. and I got pissed off, cos obviously if there's a general trend, there's a reason for the trend right...
the reason was the thing that pissed me off. I will only say this: i don't make friends with people just for the sake of being friends. I don't befriend people who are so-called "high-profile" in school or outside of school just because I wanna tompang on their status. yea.
was actually walking around with a damn pissedoff face otw home, I think I looked super stuckup haha. ohwell. then i realized ain't no point being pissed off over it, I shouldn't need to worry what others think when they don't even know me..
so I bought one grande caramel frappe from starbucks, blasted TI's No Matter What on my mp3 at full volume, and started feeling better after that. almost unbreakable, in fact. funny what music and caffeine can do for your soul. haha.
yup. in other news... OP is drawing nearer! and I still haven't turned my oral abilitites (??) around 180 degrees... ): script's due this wednesday and i&R next monday.. I must practice more!
k I've got nothing more to say. except...
I really don't want this to happen again. this old old old feeling is awake again, alive, just barely, deep inside the recesses of my heart. no matter how corny that sounds. it's true. I still automatically hold my breath when I glimpse you. it's unfair. I wish my heart were caged and locked up in its very own cell, then it'd stay where it's supposed to be.
not that I have any feelings for that person right now. I learnt my lesson. I don't trust myself to fall for the right people any more.
posted by aney @ 9:17 PM
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