wow, T-G-I-effing-F. :O this week has been KILLER. haha. what with the 3 essays and the 2 essay outlines. wahlao waste my time do the stupid outline, teacher never even check, aiyo. ohwell. it's for my own good right? HAHA. I'm sure. my own good. more like for my own eyebags. haha. -_-
let's hope the subsequent weeks won't be like this week. really very sian. essay after essay. outline after outline. 5 outlines in total this week. it's not like I mind actually doing the essay. but like, I hope deadlines will be more spread out lorh. one common deadline tends to make everyone chiong until last minute one.
ISH. I'm so bothered!
haha it's quite dated I think. I mean danny and tom still had weird hair, and harry...still had hair. hahaha yea. so anyway back to my life. lol. went to starbucks at woodlands after school today! my friend treated me :D yeah man life is beautiful. hahah. had like a caramel frappe, as usual. what else do I usually take when I go starbucks, beside caramel frappe. it's the first and nicest drink I ever tried. I don't wanna try sth else, cos it's so damn ex. I mean six bucks for variety's sake isn't worth it. especially if it ends up tasting like shit. yea.
rmb how I said I wanna camwhore more? cos like got a lot of Kodak moments in my life that I never capture? haha guess what. I camwhored today. :D not like starbucks with my friend is so super kodak-y, but I'm just a frickin vain bimbo like that. :D
worst pic. lol. I'm going to WHINE, cos I'm so bimb right. I look frickin idiotic okay. I've never seen black circles the size of those under my eyes on anyone before. OMGEE. I look like I've got a frickin shiner on each eye, urghhh. see this is what happens when you stay up until 3am for one week straight doing 3 essays and making sure they're good. well good enough to get anything but a c-ish grade thing. I better not get a c-ish grade lah. waste my time only. -_-
anddd.... the rest of the pics are just weird. not worth uploading. PLUS i just realized I have to go out now haha xD aighttt byeee (:
AIYOH. boy, I ain't never felt like this before. it makes me wanna make like natasha bedingfield and shout to whoever cares to listen that IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou. and other times its just so overwhelming it freaks me out. like how'd I get so far gone so fast? but I don't really care anymore. its just feels right.
urgh I'm damn pissed. friggin, fuggin pissed. but I don't care, I'm not gonna force myself to get over it. because it feels like it all comes down to this. but you know what, there really was nothing before this, why dyou make it seem like it's all happened? nothing has and that's exactly why I'm ignoring youu. it's not like I can just waltz up to you and go like hey it kills me not being able to see you. but yeh, you don't have to know that, because I don't know if you feel the same way, and you probably don't because why should you, and you have her anyways don't you why the heck would you even notice me like that huh??
you think so friggin far and so damn deep into it that in the end it's like you're pulling yourself away just because of something that isn't even true in the first friggin place, how could you?
hah you don't know how much it hurts to love you. I think it's never hurt like this before, not even that time three years ago. I can't even begin to say how much I'm into you because I don't even know it myself, I've never gone so far so fast and quite frankly it scares me to death.
it's not because of you or anything you've done, or anything you are, but there's just something about you which has just really pulled me in, and I'm in deep. and I think if I don't sort this out soon I'm not just gonna be in deep, I'm gonna be in deep shit. except I don't wanna sort it out because even if it hurts, I don't wanna know what the truth is. I love you so much and it kills me to hide it every time I see you it fucking hurts.
I got my first caramel frappe in three weeks! funky or WHAT. and I didn't even use any of my OWN money! :D cos I bumped into khaliq. then he wanted to act big ah so he bought for me and himself. stupid bumbum. kan that means every time I feel like going out to get some starbucks I'll call him and go like, 'man I had a damn shitty day. hmm a caramel frappe would make all my troubles disappear. HAIX wish I could have some.....but I got no money...ah no lah can't ask you to spend on me again...OKAY IF YOU INSIST!' kan kan??
thenthen of course today was OTWO.. YEH. (:D hehe I like that smiley. it works both left-to-right-ways and right-to-left-ways. okay just so you know, that was actually a typo. budden it's still cool right??
(i'm telling you it's the caramel frappe! bloody coffee I'm fuggin high)
kay ah back to O2! honestly the programme was a lil bit boring. haha >.> but it doesn't really matter ah cos the more important thing is spending time with your ogs, innit? YEH!
anw we were sposed to go like on this food adventure thing. like amazing race concept I guess? but involving food. haha. budden mr03, being the highly ON people that we are, were all so sianded so we ended up onie going one station place thing. then we went amk hub and SLACKED! :D :D
budden we got chased away. D: cos some security guard person came and was like 'orh you cannot anyhow carry the camera like that orh' cos eng how had this SLR camera thingy and he was wearing it round his neck. so that's apparently like, dangerous? or SOMETHING. haha. -_- so we had to quickly finish up then go back to school.
SPOILER LAH.
but at least I got to try three different stalls out. gogo franks (? I can't rmb the name.) that curry puffs stall (cant rmb either :D) anddddd PINK YOGURT. haha. AW GROSS. first two were AWESOME, like delicious! like savoury! like WOW! like I WANT MORE! (but no moolahh lah lalala) BUDDEN! pink yogurt was damn grossssss hahaha. (x
I havent tasted yogurt since I was in preschool I think! hahaha then today I tasted again, like 10 years on! and it's just like MILK eh. you drink it NOW, you go like, 'awwww mannn gross! why the hell did I even LIKE it back then?!' yeah I used to love yogurt. used to be a must-have on the weekend grocery shopping list back when i was like 3 or something haha (x
then I grew up...... and I forgot about the simple pleasures in life. yea, like milk and yogurt. important kay. for stronger bones. so I forgot how to savour milk and yogurt!
anyway. the drink wasnt actually that bad. well the banana strawberry one wasnt that bad. just takes getting used to (x but the oreo banana shake looked extremely gross xP it was like this vile greyish concoction. bertrand said it looked like puke. haha. I didnt even dare taste it (x
but I tasted some other icecream-ish-looking thing that guang yu bought or something. as soon as that substance came into contact with my tongue I felt like spitting it out hahaha. effing gross >.>
so after that went back to school. then once we were in the mph like almost the whole og just lay down on the floor and slept like nobody's business. hahaha. even tho we didn't even do a'thing that strenuous lol. I think it was the weather. lazy-fying weather. 0.o
so basically that's TWO out of the 3 reasons I'm so fricking happy. the last reason is that... I'm just HAPPY LAH CANNOT MEH.
hehe no lah I'm kidding. with me there's no such thing as just being happy for no reason at all. most is like I'm happy at like a random time, but it's prolly cos I uhhhmmmm thought about someone/something. xD well LATELY that seems to be the case. usually when i think about something also it's gotta do with someone. haha. (x
AIYERRRR. paiseh ready. MOVING ON! >.>
I feel like I haven't been taking enough pictures. as in, pictures ah. like . ... FINE. camwhoring. -___- cos I realize right, that there's actually a lot of Kodak moments in my life right now. that I seem to be missing. and not preserving. so I should preserve more of them! haha. because... well because memories like this only come once ah right! ERHHHH. unless I spend more than two years in RJ ah. HAHA. JOKE AHHHHHHH. xD
you know what, I feel like an insufferable bimbo every time I talk about camwhoring. like omigawd, ewH ewH ewH! my HAIR's like........ hairy. omigawd GER-ROSSSS!! -squeal- omigawd we HAVE to take another one!
and then the whole process repeats again. and you end up with one picture in half an hour. haha (x
and you know it. you know for once, I'd just like to know point blank what the truth of the matter is. it's actually very tiring going through this whole process again and again. I can't say I don't appreciate it. I swear I can't ever get over that feeling of excitement from the bottom of my stomach every time something like that happens. but the whole thing just wears me out.
it's not that I don't want to, or can't be bothered, I totally am. ha. but I hate waiting.
except I know you. and you just aren't gonna do what they did and tell it like it is. it's funny. when I don't want to know, they tell me exactly what I wanna hear from another person.
damn I'm feeling emo, cos um. I just listened to jonas brothers' when you look me in the eyes on the radio. haha made me think of something. which is pretty screwed up but hey whatever.
so! take5! I gotta say, everything except talentime was quite sian. haha. or maybe it's just cos our class didn't sign up for anything and basically totally slacked our asses off the whole time. haha. other than making numerous trips to the toilet and to the stage area and to the class mat and everywhere else, we didn't do anything lor. hah.
SO. after that me kris polly li ki went to bugis to EAT! because everyone else was meeting their ogs or going home or summat so bugis it was! I spent like 6 bucks on my fish and chips and I only ate half of it.
small tummy. haha. lucky li ki was there to help me finish. even though she said she was full. somehow eating black pearls from kris' ice kacang made her hungry again. ?
and we made stupid comments. I said kris' eyes were round like the chicken ball she was eating. kris said my face is oval like the soup bowl I was eating from. I said polly's face is round like the cookies in the cookieman bucket she was carrying. kris said li ki's hair is like the noodles she was eating.
but every time I made a comment then they said like 'is that supposed to be a compliment or...?' hahaha (x
then we went window shopping. at bugis. from billabong to clubmarc (I'm so getting white pants from there sometime soon) to um sorbet? to uh muji
YEH so then kris had to go home! and li ki went with her and me and polly went to eat ice cream at esplanade. SUPPOSEDly.
then I realised I only had two bucks left in my wallet. damn broke. can't even afford like haagen dazs or movenpick so what's the point right? so we just sat outside at the bench/railing thing by the water and camwhored. haha. camwhored! haha people were staring like, wtf crazy girls hahaha. it didn't help that I was um. I don't know, I was high. on something. I don't know. haha cos I kept laughing like heck, at the smallest of things. I don't know why. um yea I think you pretty much get the point.
but seriously. it wasn't like a high like do insane things kinda high. it was a high like go crazy and find everything funny high. hahaha. shit. I think I know why. aw damn. hahah >.>
ANYWAY. we only ended up camwhoring for like 15 minutes. then we went home. cos some stupid hokkien song was playing and it was damn disgusting and polly said she'd gimme 10bucks if I got up right there and danced to it but EH I wasn't THAT high, kay -_-
yea so here are the pics I guess. not all of em. cos some are downright ugly and I'm freakin vain like that, and I can't be bothered to wait that long to upload one by one
this one's the prettiest haha I mean obviously! we look so damn glam huh
tryna act cool. although actually we don't have to try... :D haha but polly was trying to flex her muscles. but my arm wasn't long enough to include it in the pic. so just so you know, polly doesn't have muscles. :D
first out of two sane pics. haha.
SO YES. tmr is a saturday. I have french class, damn. I don't wanna go cann. lerr.
whatever bro's pestering me
hm actually what an interesting post this has been. -_-
yeah, so that's like my fave song for the moment. sara bareilles. love song! haha. I think she has a cool name. AND she has a point. why should I give you what you want just cause you tell me you want it? (: when she puts it like that it's infinitely easier to stop myself falling all the way haha -.-
so obviously I'm back! YEH! and.. indonesia was cool. in all senses of the word, haha. cos I went to two different mountainous regions around jakarta. yea. and then it was cool because. well because it's a completely different world there. aside from having six-day school weeks (!!) haha they have like kids. who have to work. and don't go to school. ):
they do things like sell handmade toys or magazines and other stuff. and if you go to the right places there's a lot of them. it kinda crushes your spirit. like wth am I doing on a friggin holiday here, these kids can't even afford to go to school :S
there was this one kid at the airport who was super pathetic. I think he was about my bro's age. like maybe just reached 11 or 12 or something. and he was wearing super dusty clothes. which were really obviously worn. and he went around polishing people's shoes.
he asked this fat chinese dude at the cafe where I sat with my family before takeoff to polish his shoes. and the fat guy dint even look at the poor kid's face, he was just like yea, -takes off shoes- and he went back to drinking his coffee.
poor kid! I was watching the idiotic dude. I really hate him. he's so. he's the type who you look at and you think like these are the rich people who are like stuffing themselves full and getting lost in riches whilst there are poor kids all around them. oh the guy was an indonesian chinese btw.
um no offense to any indo chinese people I know. haha. just that i have a slight prejudice towards rich people who couldn't care less about anything other than their own lives. it's damn idiotic.
haha anyway >.> then the kid finished with his shoes, and you know what the fat idiot paid him! TWO MEASLEY BUCKS. TWO! for someone who was wearing a coat and a crisp shirt, he sure was short of small change. -.-
and you should have seen the kid's reaction when he saw the two notes. he was like O.O oh no that kinda face! your heart just goes down the drain when you see a kid's face like that it's like not right. the kid kept staring at the dude, like hinting for more. it was a really like crushed kind of begging for more kind of face. very pitiful.
but eventually he just went off and polished someone else's shoes. ):
dad gave him some money before we left the cafe. even though dad was wearing uh sneaks which can't really be polished haha >.> I think it was quite a lot. haha cos the kid's face was like O.O when he saw the money and then he was on the verge of tears. and then he asked, 'for me? you're giving this to me, sir? thank you so muchhh.' of course he asked in indo lah. but. you know. :D
and you know why I'm proud of myself? :D haha damn (x it's because! my dad didn't notice the kid at first, cus he was busy discussing like financial matters with our tour guide I think. he only noticed because.. I told him to give money to the kid! YEAH ME. I LOVE ME. don't you? xD
yup. so that's about it for the trip. the rest was normal sight-seeing stuff. yup. not really that interesting. as for pics.. I'll see if I can be bothered to put some up here. :D
kay on a lighter note! I've got something to share! SOMETHING VERY EXCITING. it's got to do with VALENTINE'S DAY! :D haha.
kay lah it's a love poem :D um... it's not mine. (: and I alrd got the person's permission to put it up here. it's honestly SUPER CUTE. (:
Dear __, Sorry about the torn edges of the paper,
it's last minute work
But this poem isn't:
Roses are red, Violets are blue, SIS sugar is sweet, But not as good as you.
The sky is so vast, The sea is so deep. But compared to my love for you, They can't hold all of it.
It came as a crush, It came as a blow. I couldn't control my feelings, So i wanted to let you know. It may sound absurd, You may not think it's true.
and then censored ready :D hahahaha i told you it's damn cute! hahaha I love the one about the SIS sugar! hahaha I didn't know how to react when the person showed me this. haha. it's like um should I lol? should I feel all warm inside? haha but it's so cute don't you think! :D it's so primary schoooooool. (x
&because I can't decide!
someone whose smile makes me feel I've been holding back and now there's nothing I can't do cos this is real and this good it warms the insides just like it should
love is a universal language. saying I love you isn't. so. gue cinta sama lo. (: hahaha. ((: but then again. love is patient, love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind.
wow! 3 mins left on the comp! wow I'll have to be fast. stupid bro. he used the bloody comp.
shit okay um. what was I gonna say?
OH RIGHT.
I'm going on holiday for the whole of CNY, and I'll only be back on um sunday. so yea. don't try and contact me or wtv cus obviously I won't reply. hah. unless you're worth like 6 bucks or however much each sms/call costs overseas. 0.o
the more I think about this all, the more I want to turn back time and go back to you. haha. sounds stupid. and I don't know how I can redeem myself in your eyes. haha. i don't care what they say. I don't care about who's in the wrong and who's not. I just wanna be by your side once again.
if you're gonna hate me then fine, two can play at the same game. I never hated you okay you idiot. so maybe I did something wrong. but I did it because you said you loved someone else haha and now what gives you the friggin right to be so friggin pissed off at me.
shit I'm feeling so damn lethargic now. haha. emo again. lol. but last night was really.. shitty. cos like. damn what the hell happened to me sia haha. :s i'm gonna delete that post haha. >.>
anyhow, I realize that I'm always frickin moody on weekends. like realllllllllllllllllly frickin moody, wtf kind of eh-I-thought-I-was-just-feeling-damn-high-why'm-i-feeling-like-shit-now kinda moody. and I have no idea why I have such drastic mood swings. haha. it's irritating sometimes. other times it's just like ah-heck-I''ll-have-a-long-face-if-I-want-to. lol.
again with the anyway! here's a convo that I had with my parents. haha.
dad : eh. what's up. me : .. huh. nothing. -shrug- dad : don't lie to me lah... I can read your face very well you know.. me : erhh... okay? dad : must be something up! is it a boy? me : O.O .. dad : it's a boy!!! Isn't it?! me : groans mum : maybe she has a boyfriend already. I'll KILL you if you have a boyfriend you know, santri! me : I DON'TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!! (I told you I'm frickin moody on weekends.) dad : hahahaha... ehhh.. dont play play you know... my girl is growing up..... ehhhhehehehe mum : must be a boy lah, for sure. dad : so?? is he chinese or malay? me : as if I'm gonna tell you dad : eh why not! how you know, maybe he could turn out to be a prospective son-in-law.. me : NO WAY LAHH! can we not talk about this???
haha wtf. the best part: 'dont playplay, my girl is growing up' haha that was really nonsensical. of course I'm growing up! budden what's so 'dontplayplay' about me growing up? and liking boys. hahaha.
my dad stole pck's catchphrase! haha WTF. the funny part is that he's hardlyyy the type who'd take tips from PCK of all people. he hates PCK. he says it's so.. base. haha. no seriously. me? I think he just doesn't like the mole. it's so huge lah. huger than his. hehe.
WAH. I'm being so evil to my dad. (but yah he has a mole correct what.)
but I'm glad, you know why? cos right. they know I've got problems with a dude. and they don't mind! HAH! they don't mind! I'm friggin happy about that ahhaha I thought they'd kill me alive if they found out. haha. but they know, and they're not executing me at dawn or something lol
I think as long as we don't have to talk face-to-face about it, as in like, I don't do anything that forces them to make me sit down and talk to them about it, then I'll be fine.
which is FINE BY ME (: (: (: (: (:
don't understand? nemindddd. I'll tell you if I like you. face to face. some other time. if I like you. I only like cool people like me ah so please back off if you're not.. like.. fly.
HAHA. kidding I think I'm gonna be high again wtf. haha bye.
saturday night.. I'm at my grandma's house! :D with my cousins and aunts and uncles and everyone. we're having like this special dinner thing together. haha. (: all the food was damn good. I think I'm gonna wait for the corn to be ready :D
sigh.
school has been. quite tiring. seems like most everyone I know feels the same thing. haha. like when you're in school, you don't feel that tired. still very sian, but not tired yet. then the moment you reach home it's just like phwoahh. then you don't feel like doing anything besides just lying down on your bed or something. seriously very tiring. don't know what it is about school. I don't think it's got much to do with lessons. haha. cus like. even on like days where 3/4 of the day is taken up by like STUDENT DEVT hahaha you still feel damn tired. wth.
[deleted paragraphs. for.. censorship's sake. the things you do when you're emo. ick. it's desPICable. tsk.]
ANYWAY! tmr. is sunday! madrasah! I SO do not want to go. haha. :s damn it.
eekss omg, this emo stuff is like, so not for me, ohmigawsh. I think like, my brain's like, dead. I can't DO this any more! AHHHHHHHHHH!
